Last week!

I wish I could communicate when my friends or loved ones actions bothered me like I do with strangers. I was talking with a girlfriend on yesterday, a lot of things I've just kept bottled in, and she was telling me of her experience when Katrina hit and how she had to move in with her sister. She said all her extra's she did was put on hold, same as I when forced to live with someone last summer. But not everyone has that mind-set, and it becomes even more confusing & frustrating when you're struggling. I had to live with an older sister in Jersey for about a year (man.........), and had just met her a couple months before on the phone lol.....but every chance I got I was cleaning & cooking, making sure any extra I could do was done. I'm sure there were times she felt stressed as well and never said anything. But man, although I love my sis like crazy I can not wait for her to be in her own place this weekend! Yay!!! *whew*

With all that being said I am thankful God put me in a position to help and we were able to keep heads above water, but I pray she's never put in that situation again. I say she 'cause I on the other hand have 2 little people and have a feeling they may have to/want to move back in after college lol

As for my communication skills, I was raised to keep everyone happy and it definitely carried over into adult-hood (no arguments, hate drama, rather ignore & run), but I pray I can do better in that department.

~Peace & Blessings~

*sighs*

Let's see......this past week has just been like "wow", "ummmm", and "sigh". I'm getting a second chance at something I pretty much wrote off and chunked as a loss, discovered new developing's with my daughter and how she's feeling about some changes, and last but not least thought it crazy that my sis wouldn't give her last for gas so she could get to work.
I procrastinated on my school work, as I often due, and no matter how many quarters come & go in which I say I will stop the madness.........I don't (smh). But now, here I am, 1 o'clock in the morning, trippin' writing a blog like I don't have to be up in 4 hours to take sis to work :-/
Had a blast Saturday!!! Went out and really enjoyed myself (did I say a blast....), and then slept most of Sunday~which is why I'm up *sighs* Gonna pay for it tomorrow no doubt.
Well that's pretty much all the happenings. Oh, my daughter (I believe) will be ok. I just realize I have to get back to our time together if not a little more because its that age.

Spend time with your daughters or the pediphials (doesn't look spelled right but u all know) will.

~PnB~

Finally........

So FINALLY got my first paycheck with the school district. Man this has been a long road.....and although I'm still broke (what I consider broke) I was able to pay important bills up and take my son to get a decent haircut. I don't think people really know what it is struggle anymore.....smh ha. I mean I was counting $3 in change just to attend my son's games on the weekend. Would anyone know it? Hell nah 'cause that's what black women do. We struggle but look like a million bucks when we step out. Run low on food and make it stretch a couple more days. I thank God because we still have a roof on our head, lights, food, and although my car is overdue for a tune-up, Besty is still rolling.....like an 18 wheeler lol. I thank God for my girlfriend who stepped in to help when needed. I think everyone needs that one friend that can go above & beyond AND calm ya nerves when stressed.
Now.....my goal is to live off $20 a week. Is it possible? Not if I can't shake my cocaine habit (Starbucks), but hey........it's worth a try. No nails, no buying lunch, just really trying to spend money wisely. But like I said.........it's worth a try *kanye shrug*

~PnB~

Focused On My Focus....

At the beginning of the year I had a feeling of being afraid, not knowing the direction of my life or how things would work out. It felt like with this being my last year in 20's a panic button was pressed. Still renting, hardly any college funds for little people, last year of grad school, and still no clear vision on career. I remember asking my aunt if me having different jobs and not sure of where I wanted to be was bad and she responded not at all.....that I'm still in school and doing something. The minute I stop then it will be a problem.

Today, I had a feeling of excitement. I'm 2 classes away from graduation, and it seems as though God is constantly placing me in the presence of those that have been where I'm at or are where I want to be. Instead of me going into my 30's fearfully I'm now excited for what's to come. As for personal life, not sure of the happenings there, but, I do know as long as I stay focused on my goals accomplishing them one by one~the rest will fall into play.

"Focus on ya focus"

~PnB~

Wedding Bells......

Ok so this morning I woke to a text from an old sexual partner asking to see me. The thing is he wants to do it the night or 2 before his wedding.......... 2 things crossed my mind. #1 How will I feel afterwards knowing that it will really be our last time? (That's the dang mindset) #2 Man I don't want to screw his head up for his Honeymoon lol. (That's the hey I'm single and know u miss the ass mindset but I'll feel bad for her).

When he first called a couple of months ago and told me he was getting married I teared up......more because I wonder when my mate will come....not so much wanting him. But, every since then we've been talking a lot more which is crazy. I told him honestly I didn't think he was ready. Not because I want to be with him but because he has expressed numerous times how he doesn't like children (which she has one), and because I think he just didn't know how to get out of it or man enough.

How am I feeling honestly? I'm single, a rush that someone wanting u that much, and knowing my ass will be on his mind lmao

Ok that's so bad.......but I'm a "work in progress" and just pray for me.

~PnB~

Releasing......

I try my best not to be shocked or offended when people don't think or handle a situation as I would. It's very hard though because my facial expressions show everything. I always feel offended when people aren't as helpful or considerate as I, but then I have to remind myself we are all different and raised differently. It is not my job to stress and wreck my brain over the why's of other's actions, but to remain me, work on the attitude, meekness and kindness.

Today is Friday and another friend is visiting for the weekend. Looking forward to a fun one!

~Peace & Blessings~

It's The Weekend!!!!!!

So today is Friday and once again I am appreciating the weekend.... When one is out of work the weekend comes and it's like any other day. You don't have to wake early through the week, you basically lounge if not doing school work etc. You can go out and not have to worry about waking late. When you work, these things, or actions, become a breath of fresh air lol

I've been working like crazy since I signed on with the school district and I love it! Have one more weekend of break from Grad school work, so really about to enjoy another "discussion post-less" weekend, a homework-free, able to focus on Math work weekend :-)

~PnB~